Fear and Hope Are Not Mutually Exclusive

Influence of Grandparents                                                                                      

  When I was growing up, I spent a lot of time with my grandparent’s.  In fact, I lived with them until I was 5 years old.  Much of who I am today is because of who they were.  My grandparents were both born in Texas and came to Baltimore on their honeymoon and then decided to stay.  My grandfather took a job with Martin Marietta and my grandmother stayed home to raise their family.   They had very little money, but my grandparents both continued with their education.  My grandmother eventually became a nurse.  I remember both of them taking college courses well into their sixties.  Their tiny little house was always full of books. They loved learning and that was one of the gifts they gave me. 

My grandmother also loved listening to the news.  She either had the radio or the television on, and it was always a news station.  When I think about spending the night at my grandmother’s, I remember struggling to fall asleep over the din of whatever talk radio show was coming from her bedroom.  The bad part in all of this was that she was always relaying the most horrendous news stories to me and to my cousins. Abductions, murders, you name it.  If something bad happened to a child, she told us about it. 

I realize now that it was her way of trying to make us aware, her way of protecting us.  Unfortunately, what she ended up doing was filling me with fear; a fear that has stayed with me into adulthood.  Suffice it to say, I am very cautious when it comes to my personal safety.
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