C0-Creating a Happier New Year
As we start another year, I wonder how many of us have made those New Year resolutions. This year I decided that I would take a different approach and start every morning by first practicing gratitude for life-all of it and then I would think of at least one thing that I wanted to do each day that would make me happy. It could be something simple like trying a new recipe, or asking someone that I haven’t seen in a while to have lunch with me or bigger projects like starting to repaint and decorate a room in my house.
As simple as this approach sounds it embraces many of the ideas found in traditional religions as well as new age prophets like Wayne Dyer, Abraham-Hicks, and Marianne Williamson. Even the Dahli Lama advocates the art of happiness as one of the most important disciplines we can cultivate. Why happiness rather than say goodness or godliness or any number of other virtues? Haven’t we all experienced the way happy people bolster our sense of well being? Don’t they make even the most mundane jobs seem less boring and the truly difficult jobs a little less onerous? Don’t you find that you laugh more in their presence? The happiness they share can also bring healing, hope, and gratitude. It connects us with Spirit and with the goodness of life.
So how do we create more happiness for ourselves and those around us?
I was fortunate to have a friend suggest that I read Abraham-Hicks latest book, The Vortex, which ended up becoming the springboard for this service. In the preface it says, “At the hub of these teachings is a profound concept: the basis of life is freedom; the result of life is expansion-and the purpose of life is joy.”
Freedom, expansion, joy-at first glance these may not necessarily seem to go together, but after reading The Vortex, I can appreciate how they are at the very heart of creating.
One thing I appreciate from my time spent with Journeys is how my concept of God has expanded, because of the freedom of spiritual exploration Journeys promotes. One of the few constants that scientists agree on is that the universe is constantly expanding. Abraham-Hicks would add that the universe, and everything in it is made up of vibrational energy that is expanding.
Now consider Abraham’s premise that the purpose of human existence is to allow the divine to grow, through of the experiences that you and I, and everyone else on this earth has during our lifetimes. So not only are we all connected to each other and the divine, we are all also involved in expanding the conscious awareness of Source Energy or God. We are not just some minute specks of organic matter in an infinite galaxy, but in fact our lives matter very much.
Not only is this expansion happening outside of us, but within us as well. According to Abraham, we can tell when we are tapping into Source Energy by how we feel because the divine is vibrational energy and our feelings and the thoughts producing our feelings are also vibrational energy. So when our thoughts vibrate at a higher energy level we are approaching the vibration of Source Energy and we feel good, and when we’re not we don’t.
Feelings like compassion, forgiveness, hope, joy, and love have higher vibrational energies and feel much better than feelings like despair, guilt, anger, resentment, frustration, and which have lower energy levels. And since energy is a continuum, we feel more or less good at any given time.
Knowing how we are feeling is our inner guidance of how well we are connecting to Source, if we pay attention. Because the thoughts that produce these feelings are a trigger for attracting like vibrations. It’s the old ‘birds of a feather flock together’ idea. And when our vibrational energy aligns with Source Energy that combined creative energy attracts like a beacon. And then the people, the situations, the materials, and the ideas necessary to produce whatever we are trying to create show up.
New desires and expanding consciousness are brought about by life’s challenges or what Abraham calls contrast. Life gives us so many opportunities to decide what we want and therefore what we do not want. It is this contrast which brings about the desire for improvement, which ultimately drives creation.
Well, I thought let me go through today paying attention to my thoughts and feelings. This will be easy. I am optimistic. I am open to change, and I absolutely understand what this involves. I was wrong, wrong, wrong. As I went through the day I became aware of how often I was stopping myself from having negative thoughts. By the end of that day I was literally tired of my negative thoughts and the struggle to somehow suck them back in before the universe got hold of them. So I had to take a look at this and acknowledge that I was not being nearly as positive as I thought I was and that this was not going to be as easy as I initially thought.
Many of you are familiar with Wayne Dyer and that is why we used the clip from The Power of Intention. In all of his books Dyer builds on the ideas of the vibrational power of thought, of being the change you wish to see in the world, and of connecting with Source Energy. In his latest book, Excuses Be Gone, he discusses ‘memes,’ which are low energy, disempowering thoughts that become part of our personal beliefs either because we have heard them so often that we no longer question their validity, or because of conclusions we have drawn from our life experiences. Beliefs are thoughts that we think a lot, so these are things that we are giving a lot of energy to. Some of my meme favorites, the ones I grew up hearing are: don’t ask for too much. Children should be seen and not heard. You get what you deserve. Learn to make do with what you have. Nothing worth having is free. These memes tend to kick in when we are at low ebb because life has just given us some unexpected challenge, or as Abraham would say lots of contrast. Memes are often tied to feelings from situations in our past, and these feelings can have a lot of sticky residue attached that is full of misinformation.
In the past, I tried to pass on some of my memes on to my children and now I hope that they did not listen. Because now that I recognize how much low energy thoughts can adversely affect our lives. According the both Abraham and Dyer, the universe is all-inclusive. It doesn’t discriminate. If I think about something I do want it sends me that and if I think about something that I don’t want, it also sends me that. I will get whatever I focus on, whatever I give energy to.
It is harder than it sounds to change your patterns of thought. I can’t tell you how frustrating it was not only to catch myself having negative thoughts, but having the same negative thought. It was almost as if my mind was saying well let’s see if I can sneak it in here. Abraham suggests that if you cannot replace a negative thought with a positive one, then change whatever you are thinking about. That was often easier for me.
Another premises of Abraham’s is that the same universe that inspires us to have a desire, whatever it may be, is also capable of fulfilling it. So why aren’t we all living in bliss? Well the other part of co-creating has to do with allowing, or going with the flow. What does this mean? In our next video clip we hear about a poet who goes with the flow by not trying to control how her inspiration comes to her, but simply allows it to come. One would think this would be such an obvious, intuitive response but it isn’t. How many times have you heard someone spell out in great detail everything they want in a job, or a house, or a vacation, or a partner and then finish with, “but that will never happen for me.” These individuals are so inspired about the improvement they want in their lives, and then resist or block it from coming to them with negative feelings and energy.
The meme of being essentially undeserving or unworthy must block an awful lot of creative flow. Both Dyer and Abraham say that it is the number one behavior people use to block their creative thoughts from becoming their reality. It can show up in lots of different forms, such as ‘I wasn’t born rich,’ I wasn’t born beautiful,’ I ‘m not smart,’ ‘that’s not the way I was raised.’ Abraham calls this type of blocking the flow turning up-stream. It’s a very effective visual metaphor for the friction we create in our lives when we don’t pay attention to what our feelings are telling us about our thoughts and ultimately our connection with Source Energy.
Did you know that “flow” research exists? Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer has applied her creativity for more than 30 years to the study of human behavior. In l979 Langer created an elaborate experiment by replicating a complete environment from the year l959, right down to its magazines, newspapers, and music. Then she told all her elderly male subjects who had volunteered to live in the setting for seven days, to start thinking, talking, and otherwise acting as they had twenty years before. In a stunning demonstration of the power of mind over matter, the old men grew visibly younger-not just in their frisky attitude, but even in their physiology. Medical examinations showed that they stood straighter and were more flexible. Even their fingers, which shorten with age, grew longer.” It sounds to me like they were definitely in the flow and liking it!
So what can we do to have more positive feelings rather than negative ones, and get in the flow of Source Energy more often? One thing that just about every spiritual teacher advocates is meditation and we have planned a guided meditation later in this service.
Another thing we can do is practice appreciation or gratitude. I have found this one practice can put me in a better frame of mind no matter where I am or what the circumstances. I can always find something to appreciate, and in that moment my attitude begins to shift. Another practice is that of affirmations. Later in the service we will be passing our ‘malas’ or affirmation beads to be used much like rosary beads.
I have to tell you that since I began working on choosing more positive thoughts and feelings, things have gotten better. I am getting better at resisting the urge to nit-pick or criticize and instead look for something to compliment or appreciate. I am putting my focus on what I actually have some control over which is me in relationship to my work, my family, and my friends. I try not to give any thought or energy to things I can’t control like the economy, war, politics, and what others are doing. I’m beating the drum of or talking more about what’s good in my life and less about things I don’t like. And it is hard not to focus on wanting to justify a position, or wanting complain about hurt feelings, or not making the effort to find something positive about a situation. But I have noticed that as I continue paying attention to my feelings and thoughts, with an awareness of only feeding what I want more of, these patterns are changing. I’m starting to feel less constricted and more free, less anxious and more optimistic, less tired and more relaxed.
An intriguing paradox to all of this has been that the more I focus on me and my thoughts and feelings, the more positive spillover there has been for those around me. Work has definitely picked up, laughter is more audible in my house, and I am definitely happier and more productive. I know that this work is never finished but I actually like being a work in progress.
Winfred Gallagher ends her book, Rapt Attention and the Focused Life, with this paragraph, “I’ve become much more aware of how the way I feel affects what I pay attention to and vice versa. Depending on my emotional state du jour, I might barely notice the stack of dirty dishes that someone has dumped in the sink or perceive it as a smoldering Mt. Vesuvius. Should the latter reaction prevail, I’ve learned that I can ameliorate its consequences for all concerned by refocusing on the situation in a different light-the party responsible is not an awful person but perhaps only distracted by a big project-or by shifting my attention to something else for a while. Simple as it sounds, this strategy is surprisingly effective. To paraphrase John Milton, ‘Heaven or hell?’ It will depend on what I focus on.”
What Abraham calls the ‘eternally focused creator’ is that part in all of us that calls to us with love and is always waiting for renewed connection. So what will you choose for the coming year? This reflection is not necessarily a road map for anyone but me. None-the-less I hope that you have heard something that makes you think or that reminds you of something you have found useful but forgotten, or something that has been said differently enough to give you an “aha” moment. Creating our life experiences is something we have far more power over than many of us are acknowledging, and it is exciting. So why not dream big and bold, and see what that feels like. Heaven or Hell-It depends how and what we focus on.
